This Side Story of the Prez's antics is typical of many impromptu yarns that are carried on by e-mail, usually by a hand full of participants with vivid imaginations.  Someone starts the ball rolling and others jump in adding to it.  Then around and around it goes.  These Stories are great fun and I would like to share this one with you.

The February 2000 incident:
***********************************************************************************************************
To: Mr. Arthur M. Quaas, CEOFebruary 15, 2000
Consolidated Southwestern Railroad

From: Paul M. Eaton, CFO
Alaska Northern Railroad

Mr. Quaas:

It is with great concern and sympathy that I write this. I write to inform you of the events that led the expulsion of the Prez from ANR property.

As you know, we at the Alaska Northern Railroad were extremely pleased and proud to be accorded the honor of extending our hospitality to your leader and his entourage aboard the Business Car Alaska. We went out of our way to spruce up the property in anticipation of the Prez's arrival. We cleaned rolling stock, repaired track where necessary, and generally put our best foot forward for the visiting dignitaries.

Unfortunately, as the Prez's reputation had preceded him, so we also undertook security and safety precautions well above and beyond our normal stringent standards. We removed all potent beverages from company stores and towns. We also advised the local independent purveyors of spirits along our route of the dangers of providing same to the Prez and any of his party. In addition we warned all the women of the region to stay out of sight or suffer the consequences, which we also reported, based on the Prez's recent history, so far as it was known to us.

Unfortunately, again, our extreme efforts to prevent the occurrence of events similar to those that have accompanied the Prez on his recent travels, appear to have been for naught. Somehow, the Prez must have laid in a large supply of potent potables, which our thorough search of the Alaska did not reveal. The beginning of his trip was without incident. However, about half way along the line, he was so besotted that he fell out of the car with the subsequent result that he was run over by the pilot truck of one of our Consolidations. The locomotive was unharmed, as was, incredibly, the Prez. However, the Consolidation's engineer was so concerned by the affair that he suffered a mild heart attack, a condition which required immediate hospitalization. The incident also prompted a general strike of our employees, which completely disabled our system.

It was at this point that the Prez, his entourage, and the Alaska were removed from our property and interchanged with the North Star Railroad, along with an explanation of the Prez's behavior and condition. The railroad bulls at the NSR tested the Prez for blood alcohol and found the level to be .42, and extremely high level. It was at this point that he was arrested and confined by the MP's until such time as a decision could be made regarding his disposition.

Although the Prez's antics on Alaska Northern property caused considerable consternation and financial hardship, the Board of Directors has decided, because of its regard for you and the Consolidated South Western Railroad in general, and against the advice of counsel, not to press charges or seek civil damages. It will be a minimum of one year, if ever, however, before the Prez will be allowed anywhere near ANR property.

In addition, the Board has been in constant contact with the firm of Dewey, Cheatham, and Howe, its corporate attorneys, who advise that the Corporation should bring legal action against the Prez, the Consolidated South Western Railroad and its Officers and Board of Directors, seeking punitive damages as well as the costs incurred as a result of the Prez's antics, including, but not limited to, hospitalization and pain and suffering of a valued employee, and loss of revenue. The Board originally contacted the firm not to seek redress, but to determine our liability, if any in this matter, in order to prepare for the eventuality of a suit brought by the Prez or another party. After viewing several photographs (two of which are enclosed for your records, of the Prez's activities while on ANR property and taking depositions from the various witnesses to the Prez's actions, they have determined that we have no liability in the matter whatsoever. Accordingly, while the Board does not seek redress from the Prez and his cohorts, the CSW, or its Board or officers for the reason earlier stated, it is prepared to defend vigorously against any such brought against the Alaska Northern Railroad. The Board is totally convinced that if this situation were to rear its ugly head, the Alaska Northern Railroad and any person or persons appurtenant thereto, would
prevail!

I personally would like to state my regret that this matter occurred and tender a personal, as well as corporate, invitation to you or other members of your staff, to visit the Alaska Northern Railroad, at any time.

Sincerely,

Paul M. Eaton, CFO
Alaska Northern Railroad

cc: Randy Bjorgan, CEO
North Star Railroad

Gradley Bore, State Railroad Inspector Guy
Alaska Department of Transportation
***********************************************************************************************************

Dear Mr. EatonFebruary 15. 2000

It is with great concern that I am asking what happened to the Prez while he was on the Northern Lights Railroad. When I arrived at the depot this morning I find him under military arrest at the army camp. The general would only tell me that when he arrived from your railroad that he had orders from the Commander in Chief to place the Prez under arrest and to hold him without any contact to any one until further ordered. I did talk to a member of the train crew that was there when he arrived, and they overheard something about Monica referring to the Commander in Chief as being a pimp or wimp or something after spending a night with the Prez. Has the Prez messed with the wrong Monica and was it on the Alaska Northern RR?

Marty Quaas, CEO
The Consolidated South Western Railroad
***********************************************************************************************************

Note from Steve Van GoreFebruary 15, 2000
All members of the Legal Department are leaning forward in their foxholes, sir, waiting for your instructions!!!
***********************************************************************************************************

Dear Mr Paul M. EatonFebruary 16, 2000

I have great Sympathy in your experiences with our beloved Prez. Yes, I know that he is a problem and by your preparation for his visit, it is obvious that you were aware of it also. There for, I am sure that you will accept full responsible for his actions. I must however state that I was totally shocked that upon his arrival on the North Star RR that he was held under military guard. However, I did determine today that he was in a high level conference with General Don Sherwood and that the good General did not want to be disturbed. It seems that the Prez was giving the General some helpfully hints on Monicas. Later today, the Prez was out and about and even had his picture taken on one of the new SD70MAC's

Marty Quaas, CEO
The Consolidated South Western Railroad
***********************************************************************************************************

To: Mr. Arthur M. Quaas, CEOFebruary 16, 2000
Consolidated Southwestern Railroad

From: Paul M. Eaton, CFO
Alaska Northern Railroad

Memo To: CEO Consolidated Southwestern RR Corporation

From: Slick Willie Sheister of your favorite law firm Sheister, Holtup, Meihem & Kruks

The following information should be considered for your eyes only!
CONFIDENTIAL and HIGHLY INCONSEQUENTIAL

Be cautious in any further communication regards the events of the Prez's visit on the ANR and the NSR properties. I will not name names but Mr. Eaton's description of events must have been colored by some of the ANR's complimentary champagne.

We have contacted the only single eye witness to the alleged event that resulted in the alleged heart attack of the ANR engineer. (Any one who has operated a loco across those bridges on the ANR has needed resuscitation more than once.) As consul for the Prez we are petitioning for a court order for the engineers entire medical history. I digress. The only single eye witness is One Eyed Jack, and as I write Mr. Holtup is conducting an interview, prior to taking his deposition. His story was in direct conflict (cornfield meet) with that of Mr. Eaton. Mr. Eaton obviously was misled by his staff and those rascals on the line, whoever they are.

A complete copy of One Eyed's deposition will be forwarded for your consideration after he recovers from the weekend flu.

Be cautious, Dewey, Cheatham, and Howe, has a corporate philosophy that dictates "when the weight of their briefs (load of c...) exceeds the gravity of the original alleged offense" they win. Let me assure you that we have experience in dealing with them. Partners, Meihem and Kruks, formerly were members of the Dewey Cheatham and Howe team and know all the tricks. You may have noticed that we use only 24# bond 14 point New York Font and triple spacing with wide margins on our briefs. Further, our briefs pass review by "inspector # 14" before we try and sell them to a Judge.

Remembers this is CONFIDENTIAL and HIGHLY INCONSEQUENTIAL

Slick Willie Sheister.

P.S. Don't you find the photographic evidence a little suspicious, How did they have a photographer in an autogyro overhead at the moment of impact? We still have not been able to interview the Prez because the WAC MP barracks where he has been detained refuses to admit he is there in bondage.  SWS My trusted secretary is out trying to negotiate the release of the Prez now. I hope I push the right button to get this e mail out to you. I guess if I want all this information to get to you in strictest confidence I should push the reply all button. Here goes. Remember keep this under your hat for now. SWS
***********************************************************************************************************

From Jeff ChildsFebruary 16, 2000
TOO DANG FUNNY!!! I needed that, as things have not been going the greatest lately over at the AKSF family.

As an irresponsible employee of the CSWRR I can not help but wonder if my fellow brethren won't call for the Board to immediately remove said Prez for the continuous and embarrassing besmirching of our PROUD railroad. Not to mention bringing down the wrath of unnotable inspectors upon our smoothly running operations. Notoriety is one thing, but shippers will soon start pulling their business from our line -especially if they are not allowed to share in the Prez's potently potable libations. AH-HA! I have the answer! The CSWRR must have a Shipper's Snockered Special to reestablish our customer's faith in our leadership. And if a certain inspector were to be invited along for the ride, possibly he could be convinced (by whatever methods necessary, such as a special visit from one Monica of Kentucky - and a photographic type of reminder of his activities) to confine his inspections to the various nefarious folks currently invading our fair capitol. What say
the Board?

Jeff Childs
***********************************************************************************************************

February 16, 2000

TO: CEO, CSWRR
FROM: Bradley Gore
State Railroad Inspector Guy

RE: That Darn Prez

Please note that we are aware of all that is going on with the Prez. We know all, we see all, we hear all. Keep it up and you'll be lucky if we don't come along in the Spring and pull up all that asphalt on Knik River Road.

Have a nice day.
***********************************************************************************************************

To: Paul M. EatonFebruary 16, 2000

Dear Mr. Eaton

It is with great disappointment that I am writing this letter to you. It has come to my attention that you have not been completely honest and forthright with me in providing the complete story of the Prez. It seems that there was a witness who saw the entire event and as soon as we can get him sobered up, we will be taking a deposition from him. I would suggest that before this proceeds to the CSWRR legal department, that you fess up and clear your sole. We could also make arrangements to have you visit the good Dr. Cookoo.

Marty Quaas, CEO
The Consolidated South Western Railroad
***********************************************************************************************************

Mr. QuaasFebruary 16, 2000

The "witness" you mentioned, a Mr. One-Eyed Jack, was inebriated due to his reacquaintance with his friend Mr. Daniels, that not only did our own security forces discount his testimony, the local police and the State Troopers did as well. As of this point, I understand that your ambulance chasing counsel, Mr. Sheister, whose penchant for seeking out and filing spurious, nuisance legal actions is internationally known (A Caution here: Remember his motto--"When you win your lawsuit I make money, when you lose your lawsuit, I still make money), has still been unable, after three days, to sober up Mr. Jack. I believe that this somewhat discredits Mr. Jack as a competent witness.

In fact, our security personnel and the local authorities have discovered evidence that indicates that Mr. Jack was the supplier of the bootleg materials that the Prez used to circumvent the exhaustive preparations our staff and crews made and the precautions that they took prior to the Prez's visit to ANR property. This would indicate that Mr. Jack has a vested interest in placing blame on the Alaska Northern Railroad. In addition, he has found a willing foil or, more likely yet, accomplice in Mr. Sheister.

My soul was cleansed many years before I even knew about the Prez. I have nothing to confess. I stand by the statements and sentiments expressed in mine of 15 February 2000. I, however, will remember you in my thoughts as you are led down the garden path by Mr. Sheister.

Sincere regards,

Paul M. Eaton, CFO
Alaska Northern Railroad
The Old Sourdough
Cicely, Alaska
***********************************************************************************************************

Dear Mr EatonFebruary 17, 2000

Yes I also agree with your analysis of Mr. Jack. However, we have put Mr. Jack through a lengthy interrogation and returned him to his natural state which is highly inebriated. In this state, Mr. Jacks cooked brain is working at it's top efficiency and he can perform the most intricate memory recall of any human on the face of this earth, Further more, we will be using our CSWRR legal staff for this litigation.

Fess up now Mr. Eaton and clear your sole.

Marty Quaas, CEO
The Consolidated South Western  Railroad
***********************************************************************************************************

Mr. QuaasFebruary 17, 2000

Since I have related nothing to you but the truth regarding the Prez's visit, my soul remains pure and my conscience clear. Also, since at no time did I stand on the Prez or any of his entourage, my sole remains unblemished.

Since it is obvious that Mr. Sheister has accomplished his worst and convinced you that litigation is highly justified, I am authorized by our Board to inform you that the Alaska Northern Railroad will defend this action vigorously and unceasingly to the highest Court, if necessary, and will ultimately prevail. I have been informed by D, C, & H that they are so looking forward to the destruction of Mr. Sheister, who gives their profession a really bad name, that they will devote their entire resources to this defense, if necessary, and that they will do so at no charge to the Alaska Northern Railroad. They will, of course, be compensated by their customary contingency fee of 40% of the twenty million dollar counter suit for libel and slander that they will be filing against the Consolidated Southwestern Railroad on behalf of the Alaska Northern Railroad, as soon as Mr. Sheister brings the spurious action on behalf of the CSW. After losing this action and the accompanying counter suit, I hope that the CSW will remain solvent enough that it will not be ripe for hostile takeover bid by the Canadian National Railway, who, I understand, has been avariciously eyeing the CSW for some time as its next acquisition.  Although my personal regard for you remains undimmed and I hope that you will see the error in following this course of action, I am beginning to feel some hurt at the fact that you seem to believe that the Alaska Northern Railroad is somehow culpable in the Prez manner. Therefore, I say, bring on Mr. Sheister! Right will prevail, no matter how many drunken witnesses the CSW my chance upon!

Sincerely,

Paul M. Eaton, CFO
Alaska Northern Railroad
The Old Sourdough
Cicely, Alaska
***********************************************************************************************************

To: CEO CSWRRFebruary 17, 2000
From: Sheister, Holtup, Meihem & Kruks, representing the Prez

Deposition of One Eyed Jack
February 17, 2000
Certified by : Armed Holtup, Esq. Attorney at Law
Typed by: Shirley Beaver/Dam

Holtup: Please state and spell your name for the record.

One Eyed Jack: One Eyed Jack, that's O eh, N eh, E eh, space E eh, Yes,......

Holtup: OK we got the idea. Where in Canada were you born any way?

One Eyed: In my uncle's gambling hall and saloon in Whitehorse.

Holtup: How did you get that name?

One Eyed: What are you blind in one eye and can't see out of the other? My uncles name was Jack and my mother never told me not to play with sharp sticks!

Holtup: How did you come to be associated with the Prez of the Consolidated Southwestern RR?

One Eyed: When ever Prez visits in Jamestown, he calls me for a little cribbage game and friendly social hour. Prez likes to play a dollar a point and l always lay a side bet that I'll turn the One Eyed Jack as nabs. I usually win of course.

Holtup: Tell us about the events on the Alaska Northern Railroad on your last trip with the Prez aboard the CSW business car "Alaska".

One Eyed: Well, Prez called and told me we would be leaving at 7PM from Jamestown Station. Arrangements were made to hang the Alaska on the back end of the "Jennings Flyer", you know, that crack passenger train with the fancy blue and silver F7 diesels on the front. Well I was about 20 minutes early and found the Alaska setting on the spur track at the end of the Depot with hazmat tapes and banners all over it. There were guys in white suits with hoses draining all the tanks for some reason. Then the Jennings Flyer pulled into the station and the cleanup crew vacated leaving a notice on the door that the Alaska was cleared for interchange.
Since I was invited, I got on board and there was no Prez. About 10 minutes to seven a long coal drag behind an old steam engine went by on the second track. Then the Prez was escorted in by two substantial ladies who identified themselves as the ANR Hospitality and Public Relations Team. They left promptly after depositing the Prez who was suffering the flue. They also donated four magnums of Glacier Mist, the ANR complimentary brand champagne. I was just getting him into his plush private suite when there was a tremendous bang. I looked forward to see that a caboose had just connected to us and bunched the Alaska up on the end of track bumper right by the station. Almost immediately there was another big bang as I was thrown back against the bulk head. I thought this was pretty rough and rude treatment and went forward to complain. The Prez was in no condition to raise the roof and assess brownies.

Holtup: Excuse me for interrupting but where did you learn all this RR jargon?

One Eyed: We'll I was an engineer on the North Star Line until they found out that not only am I blind in one eye, the other is color blind. I was doing good until they installed Digitrax and signalized the whole line. Anyway, I know what I am talking about! OK?

Holtup: Ok, proceed but try and keep to the relevant stuff.

One Eyed: Hey, I am a man of few words and they are all important! Well, when I went forward to the caboose, there was the conductor, Jerry something or other, who handed me two blue tickets, one for me and one for the Prez. He said it'll be a rough ride with Boomer Bob on the throttle so you guys better hang on back there. And we were off in a cloud of smoke and coal dust. I had to shut the windows and doors tight on the Alaska because the next several miles was just one tunnel after another after we passed Beer Can Cove and that is when I found out they had sent us out of town on the end of a slow Coal Drag. Eventually we were sidelined in the siding at Pack River while the Jennings Flyer blasted by on the main line. We were there for hours and then the Prez woke up and wanted to play cribbage. After a dainty glass of complementary champagne, he asked where we were and as near as I could guess we were on our way to Glacier Station. By the way, that champagne was terrible, tasted like it was squeezed from black spruce needles.

Holtup: Can we get to the accident?

One Eyed: I will, I will. The train stopped at Glacier Station. The conductor came back and banged on the locked door to advise us that we would be there for several hours while they brought out another crew since Boomer Bob was about to run into the 12 hour clock. So we played cribbage and the Prez began to sober up drinking that Complimentary Champagne. I just knew there was something wrong with it. He suggested that I draw a fresh drink from the chamber water tap, and I found it empty. That's when I told him about the hazmat team that had checked out the car. He abruptly told me to take the water pitcher out and open the condensate drain on the dummy brake air reservoir under the Alaska. You know that dummy air reservoir was missed by the Hazmat crew! Who would think to look in an air tank. Anyway the Prez got reinforced and actually won a hand of Cribbage.

Holtup: About the accident!

One Eyed: I'm getting to it! A model T speeder showed up with a new crew, none of whom had ever shaved. In a few minutes the brakes were released and we rolled down grade from Glacier until we hit the Glacier View Trestle and came to a stop on the bridge. Both the Prez and I needed relief like a race horse needs oats and that is when we found out that the Hazmat crew had emptied most every tank except that new fangled toilet waste tank. Now here we are setting on a bridge and no where to go! Anyway, we decided no one could see us in dawns early light so we stepped out on the rear platform to take a whiz.

We heard two distant blasts of the whistle and the slack started coming out of the train. When all of a sudden the Prez, who had both hands full, disappeared over the back platform rail into the fog and mist rising off Glacier Lake. I tell you, I would have joined him but for the fact that I am not quite as tall and had a grip on the situation.
Holtup: So what happened next?

One Eyed: That's it! The train was dragging the Alaska up the hill by now and when I tried to dynamite the brakes it was obvious the ever alert ANR employees had failed to cut in the air to the Alaska back in Jamestown. I never saw the Prez again, and they drug the Alaska all the way to Harrisville before I could get any ones attention to report the mishap.

Holtup: That is It?

One Eyed: Honest to God.

End of deposition by the single eye witness to the events leading up to the alleged wrong doing by the Prez.

In evaluating this situation, I believe the Prez was set up for the fall as part of a conspiracy by competing roads. The emergence of the Consolidated South Western as the state of the art, premier common carrier preferred by shippers is just too much for the competition and they will stoop to any level to discredit the Prez and by extension the CSW. The facts and photo evidence speak for themselves. Any way, it is always the other guys fault!

I won't go into a lot of legal jargon here. Just tell em "NUTS"

Managing Partner, Sheister, Holtup, Meihem & Kruks specializing in RR Law

Slick Willie Sheister Esq. Attorney at Law
***********************************************************************************************************

Dear Mr EatonFebruary 18, 2000

Please find a copy of the One Eyed Jack Deposition.

I would like to also inform you that the CSWRR has also obtained copies from NASA of photos which were taken of the site during the event in question.  These clearly show and substantiate the testimony from Mr. One Eyed Jack.  May I further point out that Mr Jacks testimony has been accepted and used in several previous court cases. In addition, we are working with a colleague of Dr. Cookoo, a Dr Doolittle who is talking with several eagles and owls who were watching from the tree tops. And tell me sir, how can you question the testimony of a eagle eyed eagle or a wise old owl?

Marty Quaas, CEO
The Consolidated South Western Railroad
***********************************************************************************************************

Mr. Quaas,February 18, 2000

Upon advice of counsel, I will respond no more to correspondence about this matter. Suffice it to say that our attorneys have in their possession more than enough photographic evidence to more than refute Mr. Jack's testimony as well as any testimony gleaned from Dr. Doolittle's "sources."  As you're aware, due to the refractive nature of our atmosphere, NASA photos are not above suspicion either. I will not dignify the other insinuations in Mr. Holtup's latest with a response with the exception of the fact that, if he were to have ridden the Alaska Northern Railroad's trains in the last several years, he would have discovered several changes made on our trains in the interest of political correctness as well as safety.

I hope that, before you go to the expense of bringing this action, that you will reconsider. After all, Mr. Holtup's entire case rests upon the testimony of a disgruntled, drunken, bootlegging ex-employee of the Alaska Northern Railroad, whose motives are definitely questionable.  You may refer further comments on and questions about this matter to our corporate attorneys, Dewey, Cheatham and Howe, at 321 Railroad Avenue, Beer Can Cove, Alaska, 99599.

Determinedly,

Paul M. Eaton, CFO
Alaska Northern Railroad
The Old Sourdough
Cicely, Alaska
***********************************************************************************************************

Date: March 9, 2000
To: Marty Quaas, CEO, CSWRR
From: CSWRR Legal Department
RE: Action against Alaska Northern Railroad
First of all, on behalf of the entire staff of the Legal Department, may I express our sincerest apologies for the delay in responding to your "Why the Hell Isn't that Report on My Desk" request for possible causes of action against the Alaska Northern Railroad (ANR) as the result of their callous, inhumane, despicable, outrageous, and, dare I say, not nice treatment of our beloved Prez.
The two young lawyers in our department originally tasked with the investigation and analysis of the Prez's predicament have been reassigned, per your instructions, to Mile Posts 124 and 362 to perform the duties heretofore performed by the automatic hot box and dragging equipment detectors operating on 164.944 MHz and 164.946 MHz respectively. These "carbon unit" detectors may be contacted at any time day or night by keying those frequencies. The initial signal sends a 24 volt charge to the electrode attached to headband worn by each "carbon unit." We're having an attitude problem with Mike, but Bart is beginning to really enjoy the calls.
Needless to say, Mr. Quaas, I'm shocked and outraged that the CFO of the ANR would assume PDQ that the PREZ was SOL on his COA against the ANR. One need only read the testimony of the eyewitness, Mr. Jack, and the testimony of the Prez to know that what they're saying is true. (Footnote: we actually don't have the testimony of the Prez just yet because the last time someone in our department asked him about this misadventure, he started speaking in Aramaic--but trust me (a lawyer's favorite words next to "it depends") we'll get a coherent, comprehensive, cohesive, and pretty darned contrived--I mean compelling--statement from him.)
I know that the ANR CFO has threatened you with millions of dollars in counterclaims if you bring an action against them, but take my advice (a lawyer's third most favorite phrase), ignore 'em!!!! With the new civil discovery rules, I'll demand that they turn over the last twenty years of financial records and the court will make them do it. Why, I'll be asking them interrogatories that would make a Las Vegas nightclub owner blush. You think Monica was a scandal? Just wait till you find out what we can dig up. Informed sources already tell me that ANR train crews won't pull out of the station until they have their yogurt and cookies--and it's not just any yogurt and cookies--it's the kind of yogurt and cookies they see advertised on Martha Stewart Living.
But I digress (favorite phrase #4 if you're keeping track--no railroad pun intended). I suggest we immediately proceed with a civil complaint, a motion for a temporary restraining order followed by a preliminary injunction, a prejudgment attachment of the offending Consolidation so that the pilot cannot be removed or altered before it is introduced as evidence, a cease and desist order preventing further libel and slander of the Prez's good name, and an action for inverse condemnation of the ANR's right of way both on, under and around the offending bridge.
The civil complaint should include charges of assault and battery by an iron beast, intentional infliction of mental distress, kidnapping, abuse of process, wrongful imprisonment, violation of the federal Posse Commitatis law for the wrongful use of the military to incarcerate the Prez, and, perhaps most important of all, temporary total disability for the time spent away from imbibing his favorite "for medicinal purposes only" alcoholic beverages.
Just say the word, Mr. Quaas, and we'll start felling the trees to make the paper to file this hummer.
***********************************************************************************************************

Dear Mr. Sourdough, CFO March 9, 2000
The Alaska Northern Railroad
Please finds the following attacht-ed for your reading dis-pleasure. I is willing to calls it quits on this matter, apolgise for the Prez, if you are willing to do the same on part of the ANR. Otherwise, weil boths go busted with the CSWRR Legal guys and Slik Willie Shiester's cohorts and buddies will become ritch and owins our choochoos. I is willin to shake on it if you is.
Marty Quaas, CEO
The Consolidated South Western Railroad
***********************************************************************************************************

Mar 9,2000
Was that the sound of chain saws I just heard? Will the CSW be adding a pulpwood train to handle the cuttings to a newly installed paper mill connected DI-RRRECTALLY to the legal staff's place of employ? Hmmmm.

Ahhhhh, I think the legal beagel department deserves a bonus, if for nothing else using ALL FOUR favorite lawyer phrases in one page or less.

Yes, Steve, you TRULY have outdone yourself this time, and we should DEFINITELY attach a copy of this gem to your next application for judgeship (should either BJ or Don become the guvner of this fine state). Only took me 10 minutes or so to stop laughing long enough to assure my beloved family that I was not dying..... ;^>

Yes, a CLASSIC is born!!

Jeff (My fee, sir [5th favorite phrase]!) Childs


Use your BACK Button to return to the Main Story about the Business Car Alaska and the Prez.

Go to Model Railroading in Alaska.